Vargr
Vargr
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This wuff was padding up to his hotel room late at night, after a wonderful vacation day with friends. We’d feasted at a local BBQ place, wuff had a lovely meal and tasty micro-brew soda, and had spent the rest of the evening at the friend’s house, chatting and playing video games.
It suddenly dawned on the wuff that he had just dodged a MAJOR "bullet" on the drive back to the hotel this evening. And the more Vargr thought about it, the greater the relief was. You see, fates had lined up the dominos just right, and all that was needed was one little nudge, and who knows where wuffy would be right now?!
This is how it started -
Driving down Alum Rock road, in the "not the best" part of the city, wuffy pulled up at a stop light that had just turned red. In the cup-holder at wuff’s elbow was a long-necked, dark bottle holding the last of the yummy micro-brew from the restaurant meal earlier in the evening. Wuff was just reaching for the bottle to tip up a sip when a little voice spoke in his head.
It sounded a lot like Jim Carry, in his "Riddler" guise from that old Batman movie. You know the one; where he’s chiding Tommy Lee Jones (as 2-face) not to kill off Bruce Wayne when they had the chance?
"Don’t do it!", that soft Carry-sound-alike voice cautioned. About that time, wuff realized that the large black cruiser sitting in the lane beside him had a lightbar on the top, and San Jose Police markings on the doors. The officer was looking in wuff’s window when Vargr glanced that way, doing his ‘situational awareness’ thing of the cars surrounding him.
Oh yeah, that would have gone down real well from there! Here’s wuffy, late at night in a strange part of town. Not the most "reputable" looking figure in his vacation garb, scraggly face-fur, etc. Let's just tip up a bottle that looks undistinguishable from any number of beers, in the car, on city streets, while the cap beside watches the wuff tipple it!
But it gets worse from there. See, once the "bubble gum machine" lit up and the cop pulled wuffy over for that "possible open container" violation, Vargr is sure he’d have gotten an officer with no sense of humor, at the end of a bad shift, with no patience left and looking for a reason to run wuff in. 'Cause the rest of the dominoes wuff mentioned earlier were ready to go at that point.
See, the micro-brew wuff was quaffing was a small craft root beer with the unlikely, but humorous name of "So Duh!" (A drink with attitude).
The conversation would probably have gone down like this:
<Officer> Did I just see you drinking something back at that light?
<Vargr> Yes sir.
<Officer> I see you have Nevada plates (wuff's rental car apparently got driven in from out of state). You know about the open container laws here?
<Vargr> Yes sir.
<Officer> So, what were you drinking there? Looked a lot like a beer bottle.
<Vargr> Yes officer. Root beer. They put it in the same battle. It’s a small craft brew. "So Duh."
<Officer> Did you say beer!?
<Vargr> Sir, ROOT beer, sir. So Duh!
<Officer> Soda?
<Vargr> No sir. So Duh!
<Officer> That’s what I said! Soda!
<Vargr> No sir. Not soda. So Duh!
<Officer> So Da?
<Vargr> No. Duh.
<Officer> No Duh? No DUH! Are you getting smart with me, dog?
<Vargr> No Sir! It’s a left-over root beer! Wuff got it at the restaurant earlier tonight! It's a local craft root beer.
<Officer> Restaurant?
<Vargr> Yes, officer!
<Officer> And what was the name of this restaurant you allegedly got this drink at?
<Vargr> It was the (Oh Crap!) errr…. "Smokin' Pig"
<Officer> PIG!? Out of the car, mutt! Assume the position!
*Chuckles* Luckily, nothing like that happened. And wuffy can THOROUGHLY recommend the BBQ at the Smokin' Pig in San Jose, on 4th street not that far from 101 and 880. They had the best brisket wuff has ever put in his mouth. A WONDERFUL season rub on the chicken that Vargr is going to be trying hard to duplicate at home n the future.
The place has no pretentions, just GREAT smoked meat, and delicious sides. The meals come served with no plates. Just metal trays with a layer of butcher paper, piled high with smoked meat and ribs. Sides include some of the greatest beans wuff has tasted, and a "toss dem damn blue mac boxes in the furnace 'cause you'll be spoilt for life" mac and cheese with lots of real, gooey cheese, both finished in the smoker and laced with smoked meats for extra delight and served up in humble Styrofoam bowls. Grab your utensils from a Styrofoam cup at the table that holds an assortment of "Plastic-ware", next to a big roll of paper towels to serve as your napkins.
Save room for some "down home" desserts like a tender, moist, and cinnamon-y bread pudding a la mode, or wonderfully creamy and rich banana pudding.
And, in addition to that oddly named root beer, they've got an appetizer called "Chicken Lollipops" ("French'd" chicken drumsticks, wrapped in bacon and smoked) and another that just tickled Vargr's sense of whimsy and irony no end: "Wolf Turds"! *LAUGHS*
Yup! This wuff had Wolf Turds for dinner, and LOVED them. They’re Jalapeno peppers, seeded and cleaned out, stuffed with sweet sausage and cream cheese, then wrapped in bacon and smoked in heavy smoke for hours until they're sweet and tender and juicy with a nice kick of heat. YUM!
So, if you happen to be by the San Jose area, drop in and enjoy a plate of them, and think of this wuffy while you’re chowin' down. You won’t regret the trip!
Smoking (Smokin') Pig
1144 N 4th St.
San Jose, CA
408-380-4784
$14+ per plate, w/drinks extra.
Excellent and attentive service, FAST food to the table (just minutes after ordering), reasonable prices, and DELICIOUS food!
Online Ordering is available for "express pickup".
Live Music (Blues) every Friday night!
http://www.smokingpigbbq.net/
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We grow not old, so long as we continue to chase our dreams.
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